Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, at least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
ozzyosborntodie: can Dora find you a sense of humor
travelviatardis: kevinstoledeanspie: shnks: cedricdigory: conorgaynard: theres a difference between shipping and being fucking insane this applies to both tumblr and amazon.com i think amazon is worse r u sure tumblr user kevinstoledeanspie r u rlly sure
romulusthread: MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
nutrientnatalie: little-uno: thatstoomainstream: It’s weird how in animals seeing ribs/collar&hip bones is considered sick or even abusive, but in people that’s considered beautiful. This may have just changed my life. Wow
sam-winchester-cries-during-sex: foodchewer: *hides good snacks from family members* there’s a word for that
lvysaur: youhavetooletgo: lvysaur: x is my least favorite letter now because of math Y? i swear to fucking god
dampsandwich: vagisodium: dampsandwich: im not 21 please dont say the A word around me. anchovies great im going to be grounded now i hope your happy
cornucopia: IF YOU GET MAD AT PEOPLE FOR BEING EXCITED IM GONNA PUSH YOU OFF MOUNT EVEREST
mom: do you have a boyfriend
mom: does he exist
mom: does he know you exist
me: not yet
wearing-sammy-to-the-prom: princeharrehs: princeharrehs: omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG! guys! he sent me a note on one of the...
theguyunderyou: imawanchor: dylanofryin: actual picture of actual one direction fans it’s like a scene from a zombie movie One Infection
the-laughing-cactus: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
danisnotonfire: hey guys! i’m gonna do my liveshow another night as i’m so jetlagged come back from the usa, i’ve literally spent the last 4 hours like this: i don’t think i have a nose anymore??
peep-toe-shoes: jointhecarrotarmy: silence-insolace: solluxforpresident: karkatforpresident: Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry. someone bumped into my chair and i punched them in the face someone bumped into my chair and I didn’t even give a fuck someone bumped into my chair and i start a revolution No one bumped into my chair because they weren’t able to...
rneerkat: darrynek: rneerkat: if somebody invented a shirt with a giant pocket in the front they would be millionaires because who wouldnt want to feel like a kangaroo oh
So now when you do Alt + Reblog, the reblog symbol...
theshelbylife: incestuous-lesbianponies: laurarw: I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG HOLY SHIT
newpope: boys in nice clothes (◕‿◕✿) boys in no clothes (≖‿≖✿)
sam-i-am1124: wearesorryfortheinconvenience: wearesorryfortheinconvenience: my friend is CONVINCED he is the one who brought on post limit. a few years ago he was reblogging a single picture as fast as he could as many times as he could and then the server crashed and ever since then people started hitting a post limit its his fault we go through this if you where wondering this is the...
jawhaw: captainabs: the-kiwi-avenger: consulting-god-of-badassery: incurablyspooky: daemon-hearts: A minute of silence for all the good books with bad movie adaptions. A minute of silence for all the bad books that are getting movie adaptations. A minute of silence for books with the movie adaptation on the front cover A minute of silence for The Last Airbender ten minutes of...
cafunedesaudade: I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”
imagine-dragonlords: thewayweride: If you’re lesbian and you fall for a guy FINE If you’re gay and you fall for a woman FINE If you’re bisexual and you have a preference for girls FINE If you’re bisexual and you have a preference for guys FINE If you’re pansexual and have a preference FINE What’s not fine is telling someone they can’t love another person because it doesn’t fit into the...
maybe-darren-knows: madamedepompador: ...
davidisbeyonce: “You cant hate that book its a classic!”
Just when you think you know everything about your idol, you find out they did a musical skit on Sesame Street. http://youtu.be/SprRX6mSsEg